Hey! Will someone please get this crazy mouse off the stage! I'm Tophat. They hired me to tell some jokes, but I'll save the jokes for later. Right now I want to introduce your hostess for the Kitty Personals, and after that I need to call the exterminator. Forget Carson!   Forget Leno! ... H e r e ' s   Bella!

Welcome to Kings Highway Cat Rescue, (*smile*)... and thank you for attending our gala event! I am Bella, your hostess. We'll start with a candlelight tribute to Momma, and then we'll begin the Kitty Personals. Oh, dear. There's a mouse on the stage! Maybe if we ignore him he'll go away. Is everyone seated? Good. Then let's begin.

We are all lucky to be here. Life on the street was hard for each of us, but through the grace of God and some caring people who rescued us from starvation and danger we all found a safe haven at Kings Highway Cat Rescue. Now we have tasty food to eat and our bellies are always full. Danger no longer lurks around each corner. We are safe from the hands of abusers, monster vehicles, and those frosty white bone-chilling polka dots that fell from the skies and covered the ground. Yet memories of the days we endured surrounded by danger and starving on the streets will never fade. Over the years, many of us were fortunate enough to find real homes. On the other paw, old age has caught up with Momma and she has just passed through the rainbow.

Momma never found a real home. She never got that second chance. You see, although she was a beauty with soulful eyes brimming with wisdom and gentleness, no one wanted a senior cat. Momma was found starving on the streets at the age of about 14. She spent the remainder of her life here without ever finding a forever home. She was a gentle, affectionate, friendly cat, and although she received shelter and food and kind words from the volunteers, she longed for a family of her own. Yet time and again when people came to adopt she was overlooked because of her age. Momma was about 19 when she went to Rainbow Bridge. We will always miss her and can only hope that she has found many mice and many pleasures on the other side.

Looks like everyone is ready now, so let's begin the personals with Miss Kitty. Wait! Listen to this! The nice red-haired lady who visited and played with me last week is back. She's at the desk with Baby Tuti... and she's filling out adoption papers! I'm so happy for Baby Tuti! Ok, folks. Let's begin. So many have waited for homes for so long, so now, without further ado, I present to you The Kings Highway Cat Rescue Kitty Personals.

Dainty black and white one-eyed female seeks home without dogs.

Hi... I'm Miss Kitty. This was me after I escaped from a pit bull ring where I was used as bait for the bad dogs. The dogs slashed my throat open but I escaped by climbing a nearby fence. While making my get-a-way I got caught on the barbed wire and was attached to the fence by my eye and throat. A kind lady saw me. She got some tools and cut me loose from the fence. She took me, along with the piece of barbed wire fence that was attached to my throat and eye, to KHCR. I thought I was gonna die from the pain. My eye is gone and it took $4,000 and months of infections for my throat to heal... but I made it! Though I'm still a bit frightened, I want to put my past behind me and find a new home. Angel of Mercy, Guardian mine Appeared at my side In the nick of time

Ruggedly handsome male, white as a snowflake, needs human who will love and cherish him forever.

Hello... I'm Otis. I'm named after the elevator company. My humans moved and left me behind. I have always been a very good cat and it hurt me to know that they didn't want me anymore. Each time they loaded the elevator with their stuff I tried to get in but they kept pushing me out. Finally, on my last attempt to follow them, the elevator door closed on my leg and crushed it. They saw that I was hurt, but they left for forever without helping me. A neighbor heard me crying and called KHCR. The accident left me with a limp. I sure hope this won't stop anyone from wanting me cuz even though I am not purr-fect I am a good cat. I need someone who will give me lots of hugs.

Sexy silver tabby seeks home filled with music.

I'm Roseanne... a chunky but sexy 12 year old silver tabby. Although I've been around the block a few times, there's still lots of steam in my engine. We'll skip the hard luck stories. I've encountered too many. I adore music and love to sing. What I'd like to do now is entertain you with my favorite Rod Stewart song cuz it describes me so well: If you want my body... and you think I'm sexy.... come on sugar let me know....

Little orange kitty seeks home with anyone that will have her.

Hello... I'm Tansy. When I got sick 'n my ear hurt I cried a lot. My humans got annoyed so they dumped me into the streets. Cuz there was no-one to care for my ear infection till it was too late, I was left with a head tilt. If I don't keep my head tilted to the side I get very dizzy and the world spins. I may look lopsided but my heart is full of love. Please give *me* a home. I am well behaved and I don't take up a lot of room. A warm lap in which to take a nap... and some Friskies in my bowl to crunch, when I'm ready to have lunch.

Don't mess with me when my ears are down!

The name is Brut! I am rough and tough and can usually find stuff to be angry about. Do you believe this? They made me pose in front of a red curtain! What do they think I am? A girl??? Know what they wanted me to say for my caption? I won't even tell ya. Bella warned me to be nice but I just gotta say it the way it is: "Don't mess with me when my ears are down." With my rugged good looks I get whatever I want. What I want now is a home with someone who will accept me as I am. By the way, I am a tomcat in every sense of the word and I adore beautiful women. "Hello, sugar. Wanna dance?"

Jewish non-religious feline seeks home with at least one good cook. Kosher food preferred.

I'm Sadie... and today's my birthday! I'm an orange tabby with vivid green eyes and a beautiful coat. Age? It's only a state of mind so I took a few candles off the cake. My human went somewhere in the sky and they said she's never coming back to get me. She used to cook delicious dinners for me every night. I especially enjoy chicken soup and matzoh balls and seek a home with another good cook. Oh, I also like roast beef and noodle pudding. No TV dinners for me, please! Happy birthday to meeee...

Sexy Cher look-alike with heart-stopping good looks seeks home with lots of mirrors.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...Who's the fairest of them all? Me! My name is Jet!  I may not be a lap cat but you'll be proud to have me as I am so extraordinarily beautiful. My favorite hobby is looking in mirrors. I am a sensuous cat with a glossy black coat, piercing yellow eyes, and a tail that looks like a licorice stick. All in all,I'm really something to write home about. I can add a lot to your decor, but I can also be your best friend.

Sweet tabby needs kind human who can induce her to leave da only home she's ever known.

My name is Fanny... I remember it well. I was 8 weeks old and crying in da street with my dead brother at my side. Someone beat him up till he was killed 'n den dey beat me up and broke my jaw. It hurt so much. Da rescuers found me and took me to da doctor 'n den I got better. My body is still scarred and my mouth doesn't close all the way. Since I am a very compliant cat I agreed to be in da personals, but I am really not so sure dat I wanna leave here cuz dis is the only home I have ever known 'n I'm ascared to leave here. I mean, I'd like my own home. It's just dat I'm ascared. Please understand da house is grand, trees and flowers on da land. But if dat stairway I should climb, will you keep me till da end of time?

Handsome, dashing, debonair white male seeks home full of love and laughter with human of any color.

I'm Yukon... an agreeable 4 year old white handsome male with a very long tail who is a bit on the large side. Consider it. There's more of me to love. My humans dumped me into the streets like yesterday's garbage. Thank goodness I was found and brought here. If you choose *me* I promise to love, honor and sometimes obey you. Despite my past I am ready and eager to extend a paw and open my heart to love again.I am a jolly cat and I seek a home full of games, love and laughter. Let the games begin!

Adorable male with great sense of humor seeks funny lady for great times. Sour-pusses need not apply.

Hi... my name is Meat-ball. I'm a 2 year old cutie who is sometimes as silly as a clown. I was told to behave today so that I can find a good home. If you pick *me* I promise to keep you laughing with my crazy antics. Like lots of my friends here I, too, have had a sad past. But that's all behind me and I don't wanna dwell on it. I'd rather be happy. Wanna hear a good joke? Uh oh, Bella's telling me to be quiet. Should I bribe her with some flowers?

Calico tabby with eyes of gold seeks home with boxes.

Greetings....I'm Pickles The night was bright and clear and filled with stars, but I was one of the vast army of homeless animals who wandered the streets starving and chilled to the bone, until a pair of kind hands picked me up and brought me here. Like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz once said, "There is no place like home." My dream is to once again have a home. A home with those boxes: An ice box filled with food and a TV box filled with mouse cartoons. A Mousie! #@! Gotta get that mousie into the ice box!

Gorgeous brunette with hauntingly beautiful eyes of gold seeks a home to call her very own.

Hi there... I'm Amaretto. I'm a gorgeous 3 year old with expressive eyes and exotic good looks. You'd never guess it by looking at me but I am quite shy. Need a warm and secure environment so that I can show you what a love I can be. I like all the cats here but my best friend is Meat-ball. I'd miss him a lot but I really want to find a home again. I'm keeping my paws crossed. Maybe someone will choose *me* today. PRE-SENT-ING..... the ONE and ONLY... A M A R E T T O

Delightful dame with dark past desires a safe home with da good people who will not hurt her.

Hi... I'm Tar-Baby. When I lived in da street some bad kids covered me with tar from a construction site 'n den dey wrapped me in wire and pressed me into da ground to dry. Da good people in the street helped me. Dey hadda scrape me off the ground with a shovel 'n den dey took me home and cleaned me. I was very sick dat night. Da good angel musta been watching over me cuz I didn't die. But den da good people put me in the street again. I don't want to go in da street again. Maybe I should stay here. Angel of light Shining so bright Watched over me All through dat night

Pretty feline who is a daydreamer at heart, wishes to relocate. I'm willing to travel to the end of the earth to escape Bella.

Hello, world... I'm Magnolia. I'm not in a very good mood cuz Bella stole my breakfast again. I tell ya. One day that cat's stomach is going to burst and that suits me just fine! Yesterday she shoved Meat-ball away from his dish, and then she devoured Sadie's food. Ya think she's fat? Huh? You should see her from behind! She doesn't even fit on that bench they bought for her! Been daydreaming about getting away from Bella for a long time, and I'd go to the end of the earth to do that! It doesn't take a lot to please me. A humble home and a human with a good heart is all I ask for.Maybe *I'll* get lucky today. In case you want to know, I am one year old. Just flew in from Red-Devil's page. Someone in here call me for directions? The end of the earth is that-a-way and down!

Street-wise cat with fire in his veins and courage in his heart...who is rugged, fearless and strong... seeks fragile female to love and protect forever.

Hi... My name is Pat, but some call me Fearless... I've seen lots of bad times since I was born 3 years ago. However, being the private cat that I am, I'm not gonna share my war stories with the world. My rugged good looks will charm your soul. I have the heart of a tiger and not much scares me. Not even big dogs, and not even Brut! Should you choose *me*, my mission in life will be to protect you from suitors with bad intentions and nasty mice.

Good natured gingerbread tabby with girlish good looks and no gimmicks, seeks kind-hearted granny type.

I'm Ginger... an affectionate gem of a cat who likes griddle cakes and green jello. I use to wish for gold and all that glittered. Now, as I embark upon the autumn of my life, all I seek is a quiet home with a senior citizen who will love me and make me the center of her universe. Treat me right and I will make you purr. .....

Upstanding member of the cat community who never even committed the crime of stalking birds seeks human to get him out of this prison.

Hello ... I'm Sharkey. I'm a 7 year old tabby with nice markings and expressive almond shaped eyes. They named me Sharkey cuz every time they tried to put me back in the pen I would bite like a shark. I wish they would get locked in the pen 'n then they would see that it's no fun. But I got used to it now so I don't bite anymore. Well, maybe I shouldn't complain cuz the pens are large and roomy. But let's face it. A pen is a prison 'n I want out cuz I never committed a crime. Ya never saw *my* mug on America's Most Wanted for stalking birds! Hmm...Gotta go. I smell a bird!

Bella! I need to see you right now. The people will wait.

Holy whiskers! Just when I'm in the middle of hosting the personals Elaine is calling me... and she has a grooming brush in her hands! Bet she's gonna pretty me up and try to force me to make a personal ad. We've been fighting for weeks because I refused to make one. I don't want any more rejection. I know I won't get adopted cuz I've been here all of my life, so what's the use. Gonna make this worthwhile and charm a snackaroo out of her while she's brushing me. Then "after" I eat the snack I'll tell her that I'm not gonna make an ad! This won't take long, folks. Save my place!

Hi, everyone. I'm Diabella. If you ignore that crazy mouse maybe he'll go away. While Bella is busy I'll tell you about the shelter. KHCR is a no kill facility that has rescued and cared for cats since 1988. Had my Red-Devil, Handsome and Tropicana not found their way here, they would not have survived on the streets much longer. Responsibility for the cats falls on the shoulders of Elaine Avery, KHCR's President, who also does much of the rescuing. The shelter exists on tax deductible donations. I have created this web site and write articles to gain public awareness, secure adoptions, and raise funds. At this time KHCR can't pay the rent and the cats are in danger of losing their shelter. In addition, there are many neighborhood strays that can't be rescued right now due to lack of funds and a huge never-ending bill at the vet. We are urgently in need of help. KHCR has garnered numerous awards for their work with cats. They are the recipient of the Unsung Hero's Award presented to them at the International Cat Show held in New York's Madison Square Garden. Well... here comes Bella. Wonder why she looks so excited.

Elaine didn't call me away to groom me!! The adoption papers say Fat Bella"!!! That's me!! My name is on the adoption papers! The lady with the red hair came back for Me!!!  Holy Crow... I'm gonna live in a real house again! And no more of Elaine's stinking diets!

In just minutes I'll be starting a new life.Before leaving, I offer words of farewell to the friends I sadly leave behind. You will all remain in my heart and in my memories forever. To my feline friends: I will miss each and every one of you, my dear friends. Yet I take solace in knowing that those of you who never find your very own home will always be safe right here. To the volunteers: Without your hard work and dedication there would be no shelter. To Elaine: Bet you're not gonna kiss me goodbye cuz on the surface you are one tough old bird. But I can see past that. Your kindness, hard work and generosity of spirit will never be forgotten. Despite the fact that you tried to put me on a diet several times, I owe you big time.... and I love you.

C'mon Bella... that's enough. It's time for you to go to your new home. I'll host the rest of the personals.

Wait a minute, Elaine. Gotta say something to our visitors: Not all cats are as lucky as we are here at Kings Highway Cat Rescue. Every day thousands of healthy cats are euthanized across the United States because no one wants them and there isn't enough room for shelters to care for them. Others are leading lives of quiet desperation on the streets. Please, people, adopt from a shelter and save a life.

And to you, my new human, I want to say thank you for choosing me. I promise to be the purr-fect pet. All I ask in return is that you provide me with a very deep food bowl. Talkin' about *food*, I do hope that ya have a nice hearty dinner planned for. Let's see: A Big Mac... hold the onions, a couple of tacos, some Bumble Bee tuna, and some roast beef... rare, if you please. So, Red, can ya fill that order on such short notice?

Wait a minute, Bella. Need to tell you something before you go.

What do you need to tell me, Elaine?

My thoughts, prayers, and purrs go with you. May God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Ok, mouse! Let's make a deal before we continue the personals. Here are 3 riddles. Answer 2 of them correctly and I'll let you stay on the stage.

#1: How do you keep a bull from charging?	I would take away his charge cards! hahaha!
#2: Why are cows noisy?	Because they have horns!
#3: Why doesn't glue stick inside of the bottle?	Cat... I think you are brain damaged!

Well, mouse, Goodbye. You had your chance and you lost. ....... Meet the exterminator!

Update...

Due to finances the shelter has been forced to close its doors. The rescue now functions with the aid of two fosterers. Because there is so little money and space, the number of cats rescued from the streets is limited. Our neighborhood is over-run with strays and we get daily calls from locals with cat horror stories. The cats are in desperate need of help. Your donations, no matter how small, will make a difference. With help we will be able to rescue from the streets on a larger scale as we once did. We are near the water and the winters are unforgiving. So many live out their short miserable lives in desperation on the cold harsh streets without ever having known the comfort of a full belly or a human hand. Please consider donating or adopting. Our site at Petfinder is run by Emma De Rosa. If you fell in love with one of the cats in "The Kitty Personals" please know that cat has most likely been adopted but loving and needy kitties arrive here all too often. We have pictures of some of the current cats that are up for adoption on the Petfinder site. Each time a cat is adopted there is room to save another one. About Bella: Bella is happy in her new home. To date no-one has managed to keep her on a diet.

There Are Many Ways You Can Help:

DONATIONS: Your tax deductible donation, no matter how small, will be greatly appreciated. Every cent will help to feed and care for a stray.

Check Please make your check out to Kings Highway Cat Rescue, mark it "Website Donation" and mail it to: Ms. Elaine Avery, Senior Avery & Avery, PC 5005 Avenue M Brooklyn, NY 11234

Just Give Org. Click on the logo to donate. At the Just Give site you can click on the Kings Highway Cat Rescue name near the top of the page to view our programs and balance sheet.

Citibank........... Click on the Citibank logo... Coming Soon

ADOPTIONS: If you are in or near Brooklyn, please consider adopting. Each time a cat is adopted, there is room to rescue one more.

HELP US HELP THE CATS: Display the Kings Highway Cat Rescue banner on your website so that others can find us. Save the banner to your hard drive, upload it to your server, and link it to the URL shown below which is the URL for the opening page of the Kitty Personals. http://diabellalovescats.com/kings.htm

Win the Kings Highway Caring Heart Award

This award is not limited to cat sites. If you'd like to win it e-mail us. We've created an entire page of Marvin Mouse graphics for your web pages.

Wait! Don't go away yet! ... We have a lot more. If you've never visited Diabella Loves Cats you are one click away from a different kind of Cat Rescue site. Click on the Home button from any page to get to our site index. From there you can...

Enter The Cat Cafe where fantasy meets reality via a series of educational and fantasy pages in a "real" nickelodeon. Visit my cats: Red-Devil, Witch-Hazel, Tropicana and Count Dracula. Enter the heavens in the black of night to meet Handsome and Angel Ariella, Keeper of the Stars. Follow Katzenberg in his illustrated journey to Rainbow Bridge and meet The Rainbow Bridge Fairies. Read Cat Poetry by Candlelight in The Cat Cafe on a page illuminated only by candles. Impossible? See for yourself. Meet the Spay/Neuter Witch, The Evil Crow, The Green Elf, and the many Fairies who live here. Visit our Free Vintage Cat Graphics section and pick up some unique Dressed Cat Graphics for your web pages. We have Dog Graphics too. Stop in to meet me and some of the cats I've rescued over the years in Rescue IV - My Rescues. Apply for our Awards. You can see all 7 of them here.